Valentine’s Day is a holiday reserved for lovers. This day can be a wonderful opportunity to connect with your partner and strengthen your bond as opposed to going through the motions because it’s what you’re supposed to do. In order to have a meaningful, special Valentine’s Day, here are some tips on ways to not only avoid hurting your parter's feelings, but also help deepen your connection.
Mindfulness is a wonderful way to help deepen your bond and overall satisfaction with your partner while relieving stress and staying present with them in the moment.
There are a variety of ways to practice mindfulness with your partner this Valentine's Day that are both romantic and healing, and don't cost anything.
Stimulating the five senses is a fun way to bring both romance and mindfulness into your relationship this Valentine's Day.
Valentine's Day – ways to not hurt your partner:
Valentine's Day can put a certain pressure on all couples. However, there are ways you can have a meaningful celebration in a unique way that's suitable only for you two. Here we discuss how to avoid hurting your partner on this special occasion and deepen your connection.
Make connecting a priority
Life can get busy, and while Valentine's Day falls on a weekday this year, it's important to mark it on your calendar. Set a reminder on your phone, to ensure you take some time alone with your partner. Make plans with your partner to have a date night and make it a priority. Do not cancel because something came up with work and put in the effort to be on time.
It's oftentimes the little things that make the biggest difference and will make your partner feel special, as opposed to feeling hurt if they do not feel like you are making them a priority. It may also help to plan your date out in advance to avoid any mishaps that could arise out of trying to do things last minute.
Do something thoughtful
You don't have to do stereotypical things on Valentine's Day in order to make it special. Sometimes the most special things you can do are free or budget friendly. Rather than simply buying your partner a heart shaped box of chocolates, think about what they might really enjoy doing on Valentine's Day.
- Couples pottery classes. These are great fun and something different and creative to try with your partner;
- Potted plants. Instead of chocolates and roses, bring them a living gift that they will be able to look at time and time again;
- Finish their chores. Ask if there's something around the house that they've been putting off and do it for them.
Cater to their needs
A great way to show your partner that you care while staying present and mindful is by noticing their needs and catering to them. If your date appears to feel stressed or sad, ask them if they are okay. If they seem cold, offer them a sweater or a blanket.
Checking in with your partner and their feelings is also a great way to exercise your emotional intelligence. It will also allow your partner to feel seen and they will be less likely to have hurt feelings. Stay attentive without smothering. Leave your phone on airplane mode if possible, and do not spark any feelings of jealousy by looking at others or flirting with anyone else. Give your partner your full attention.
Show gratitude and positive emotions
Try to make your alone time with your partner as special as possible. This means that you should have a positive mindset, even if they give you a present that you're less than impressed with. Say thank you and try to find something to be grateful for in that moment and amplify that. Some easy to remember phrase you can use are:
- "I love how thoughtful you are"
- "Thank you for taking the time to pick something out for me"
- "I appreciate that you made the effort to get me a gift"
Sharing the things you like and appreciate about your partner is a great way to deepen your connection and avoid any hurt feelings on this special day. To help you prepare for this, you could write a list of all the things you are grateful for when it comes to your partner. You may even want to do this together and take turns reading your lists to one another.
Press pause on anything unpleasant
If there are any unresolved arguments or disagreements between you and your partner, make a mutual and conscious effort to press pause on them. Do not spend your special time together arguing, as that is more likely to cause your partner sad or hurt feelings. Rather, tell them that despite the things you have been going through, you'd like to focus on the good in the relationship together on this day.
This is a great way to help one another remember what brought you together in the first place. Make the effort to focus on and celebrate your love and connection all day. You just may forget what the argument was about or be able to see past any obstacles and resolve things with greater ease.
Stimulate the five senses together
Mindfulness can be achieved by stimulating your senses. You can make this a fun and romantic activity with your partner. This can be planned in advance to ensure that it is extra special.
- Smell. If your partner has a favorite scent, make sure you are wearing it to stimulate their sense of smell. You can also burn essential oils in an oil burner and infuse your setting with beautiful aromas;
- Sound. Play some of your favorite music together. If your partner has a favorite instrument—you could find a playlist in which that instrument features heavily;
- Sight. Wear something that you know your partner thinks is beautiful. Set the lighting low and create a mood and ambience through the sense of sight;
- Taste. You could get a wide variety of delicious fruits and blindfold each other. Try feeding the fruits one by one and guess what they are. You could also cook your favorite meal together;
- Touch. You could offer to give your partner a massage, or even book in for a double massage together at a spa.
After spending some quality one-on-one time with your partner, check-in with yourself about how you feel. This can be done the next day or after your date. You may want to journal about how the evening made you feel. You may also want to set some goals for the future of your relationship, then share these goals with one another on your next date. Taking the time and making the effort to connect with one another is a great way to spark romance and a deeper bond this Valentine's Day.
- Mindfulness. On the association between mindfulness and romantic relationship satisfaction: The role of partner acceptance.
- Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Mindfulness, perceived partner responsiveness, and relationship quality: A dyadic longitudinal mediation model.
- Behavior Therapy. Mindfulness-based relationship enhancement.