How to Not Be Socially Awkward: 10 Strategies

Published on October 16, 2023 .

Girl being socially awkward near people — Image via Freepik

Social awkwardness, or struggling to talk in social settings, is a common phenomenon. You might dread meeting new people because you don't know what to say to them or you might even begin to imagine that you will say something wrong and get ridiculed. In this article, we will delve into the complex subject of social awkwardness, explain its characteristics, distinguish it from shyness, and offer practical and effective strategies to help you deal with the challenges it poses.

Some of the signs of social awkwardness include a struggle to engage in casual conversations, overthinking, feeling anxious when meeting people, and fearing people judging your every word.
Social awkwardness and social phobia are not the same. They have a different intensity and impact. While social awkwardness involves unease and limited social experience, social phobia is marked by overwhelming anxiety and fear of judgment.
There are some benefits to being socially awkward. Accepting and dealing with this condition can unlock hidden strengths, such as heightened empathy and genuineness, that can lead to personal growth.
There are some effective things you can do to improve how you deal with awkwardness, such as challenging negative self-talk, practicing active listening, being more self-compassionate, and developing your conversational skills.

Signs that you might be socially awkward

Knowing how to recognize social awkwardness is crucial for navigating interactions. Whether it's difficulty in conversations or misinterpreting cues, understanding the signs is important.

Here are some indications of social awkwardness:

Conversations are difficult. You may struggle to start or maintain conversations, resulting in silences or abrupt topic changes.
Missing nonverbal cues. Having trouble understanding nonverbal cues like facial expressions and body language makes it challenging to grasp the context of a conversation.
Anxiety symptoms. You may experience sweaty palms, a racing heart, or blushing when engaging with others in social environments or with unfamiliar people.
Fear of judgment. Fear of being judged, criticized, or humiliated by others in ordinary social situations can lead to avoiding interactions.
Overthinking. You may overthink social interactions and worry afterwards about what you said.
Avoiding social situations. Your fear and anxiety may lead you to actively avoid gatherings, events, or activities where you might have to interact with others.
Self-consciousness. You may feel particularly self-consciousness in social settings and feel judged for what you say.
Discomfort in groups. You may feel uncomfortable and out of place in group settings and not know how to contribute to group conversations.

It's essential to highlight the distinction between awkwardness and social phobia, as they encompass a range of emotions that individuals can experience. Social awkwardness typically refers to feeling uneasy and concerned in situations that require interaction with others due to a lack of confidence or limited social experience.

Individuals with social phobia experience overwhelming anxiety. They fear being observed, judged, or embarrassed in settings. This fear can be so severe that it significantly affects their life and makes even simple social interactions highly distressing.

Understanding these distinctions helps individuals navigate their challenges in interactions effectively. It enables the implementation of strategies and interventions to address difficulties, whether it's occasional unease related to social awkwardness or the deeper anxiety associated with social phobia.

Understanding the aspects of being socially awkward is important in grasping how it affects individuals. If you are constantly uneasy when meeting people, it can have a detrimental impact both personally and professionally. It can lead to feelings of isolation and make it difficult to form meaningful connections. Constant feelings of social unease can have a terrible effect on self-confidence and overall well-being.

Social awkwardness can also hinder career growth. Difficulties in networking, participating in meetings, or interacting with colleagues can hamper opportunities for advancement. It may also have an impact on job interviews or presentations by impeding your ability to effectively showcase skills and knowledge. Recognizing and addressing these downsides is crucial to developing strategies to minimize the effects of awkwardness and improve overall quality of life.

The potential benefits of being socially awkward

There are hidden advantages to social awkwardness that are often overlooked. While the condition can present challenges, it also offers opportunities for growth. For instance, individuals who struggle in social situations tend to be more observant and empathetic as they pay attention to cues in order to compensate for their discomfort. This heightened awareness can lead to an appreciation of others' emotions.

Embracing and addressing awkwardness can act as a catalyst for self-improvement. It motivates individuals to work on their skills and boost their self-confidence and resilience. It fosters authenticity and connections because these individuals are often perceived as genuine and less pretentious. Recognizing the benefits of embracing awkwardness can inspire people to embrace their qualities and leverage their strengths while also focusing on areas that may require improvement.

Feeling discouraged and thinking that you're destined to struggle socially forever can be disheartening, but there are effective steps you can take to improve your communication skills and feel more comfortable socially.

Here are 10 tips that can help you

Addressing the inner critic. One way to overcome the discomfort is by challenging the negative thoughts that pop up in your mind when you have to meet new people. These thoughts can be very self-critical. Instead, try and practice self-soothing thoughts and be more tolerant of yourself.
Use positive affirmations. Find some affirmations that you repeat to yourself daily. Remind yourself of your worth and capabilities and focus on your strengths rather than dwelling on perceived weaknesses.
Cut out negative statements. Stop yourself when you realize you are saying things like, "I'm always awkward," "Nobody likes me," "I'll never be good at this," "I'm a failure," or "I'm not worthy." Challenge these statements and reframe them in a positive light.
Study conversational skills. Actively learning and practicing communication techniques can greatly reduce any feelings of awkwardness. Techniques such as listening, asking open-ended questions, and showing genuine interest will give you a range of skills that will increase your confidence.
Challenge perfectionism. Perfection is never going to be possible. You are not always going to get it right and it will just lead to heightened anxiety levels. Allow yourself to just be "good enough" and view mistakes as opportunities for growth and learning. Making progress rather than striving for perfection should be your objective.
Embrace the fear and take action. Challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone regularly. Begin with short interactions and gradually progress to more demanding situations. Each step forward will build your confidence and bring down your anxiety.
Practice mindfulness. Stay fully present during interactions by focusing on the conversation and the person you're engaging with rather than worrying about potential mistakes or judgments. Being mindful can help decrease anxiety and enhance self-assurance.
Consider seeking professional assistance. If your awkwardness is impacting your daily life, consult a therapist or counselor who specializes in addressing anxiety or awkwardness. They can offer strategies and support.
Engage in social activities. Get involved in group activities, clubs, or classes that align with your interests. These activities will provide a supportive environment for honing your new communication skills and forming new connections.
Set realistic social goals. Establish goals such as initiating conversations with colleagues or participating in social gatherings. Celebrate the successes to boost your confidence and motivation.

While it might feel that you are doomed to a life of social awkwardness, there are ways that you can deal with it. In embracing and dealing with this condition, remember that you can grow from it. You can become more empathetic and genuine, and people love those qualities in a person. Embrace your uniqueness and forge ahead with confidence.